This is a concise, punchy sentence. This next one is longer; additionally, it adds depth—humor, severity, possibly just truth—to the initial sentence. There will most likely be a sentence or two inserted here providing clarity, or introducing a main point—thesis—to the article. The last sentence is short.
Now, this is going to be a paragraph about an opinion. Or a situation. Or both. Maybe neither. This paragraph will go one of two ways: it will either provide a brief anecdote about a recent experience with the phenomenon I’m discussing, which will probably be intended to make you laugh, but may also take aim at your heartstrings. More likely the former than the latter. That was a sentence fragment. And this sentence starts with a conjunction. By the time you’ve reached this sentence, the digression from the second half of the point I was making at the beginning of the paragraph can only be remedied by the following.
Around this time, there will be a photograph inserted into the post. It may not add anything, but it is an opportunity for me—the writer—to display to readers and, potentially, employers that I find multimedia blogging an easily navigable endeavor.
But by this point, you (my reader) are frustrated with my total inability to connect back to my “one of two ways” paragraph, above. So I will get back to it. With a few more sentence fragments. And a few more sentences beginning with conjunctions. This shows employers that I am a skilled journalist writer, not bound to five-paragraph drudgery.
This sentence doesn’t relate to any other part of the article. I’ll use it to point out how frequently I hyphenate phrases. That’s a journalist tic, too.
Finally, this is the paragraph where I attempt to bring things “full-circle”. The second of the two ways that the very far above paragraph could have gone was, rather than an anecdote, a description of something that displeases me. This might be ketchup, Bruce Springsteen, pro-lifers, paying for car insurance, men who use too much gel or girls who don’t believe the world when it tells them stripes and plaid don’t match. Whatever it is I choose to complain about, there will be something to offend everyone. In this way, I guarantee my readership to be at least partially offended by the time they’ve reached the end of this 400-to-1200 word article.
Article, or blog?
Peppered throughout the sentences and paragraphs, you will find a number of hyperlinks. These have a twofold purpose; one, they show that I know things about things that actually exist; two, they bring traffic from other parts of the internet onto my blog, increasing readership. (I believe the internet term is “pingback). Most of these links just go to Wikipedia.
This is the last paragraph. It doesn’t wrap anything up. It’s pretty short, too. It will make an attempt at meaning, or maybe just re-word a cliche like “it’s all been done before.”