Calm Down.

When I think of all the irreversible things I’ve done in my life, I get bored very quickly. It’s a very short list– not too much can’t be undone, these days. And that presents multifaceted vices and virtues. There really is no predicament I can get myself into, through, over, around or under, and not come out the other end alright. Or, dead, but I’m pretty existential about that so it doesn’t worry me.

Largely, this is attributable to how overzealous people are toward overreacting. Like my wireless mouse: it keeps flashing this tragic icon in the lower-right screen of my laptop, telling me “Your Anywhere MX Mouse’s Batteries are CRITICAL!”

It used to be that exclamation points were reserved for things like, “Fire!” or “My water broke!” but now the little buggers are getting tossed into the end of completely inconsequential sentences.

Because, realistically, who cares if my batteries are “critical”? I’ll just get some new batteries. That’s fine. There’s no need to act like an infant is going to be dismantled if I don’t change my fucking mouse batteries.

(Can you dismantle an infant?)

Everyone is just so stressed, all the time. When I get off the bus in the morning to walk to the train, everyone runs to the gate and up the stairs to the platform. There are, like, five different trains that go to the same place. And they come every four or so minutes. I’m sure that wherever it is you need to be can wait for four minutes, especially if it means saving yourself the inkling of pride you expended to throw yourself over the turnstile and through the closing train doors.

I think, too, that my disdain for the spastic level of everyone, everywhere, has a lot to do with how lucky I’ve been my entire life. There have been a lot of bad situations around and because of me, but none of them were dire. And those that were, didn’t seem so until they were long over or I was old enough to know better.

Ignorance isn’t bliss, but it can provide a certain measure of safety, for sure. And an argument can be made that knowledge, too, provides safety. Suffice it to say, safety happens to people who are rock-stupid and rocket scientists, alike. Because it has nothing to do with your brain. It probably has something to do with confidence, or hair gel, or another inconsequential thing. Either you’re safe, or you aren’t, and no matter which you still might not know it.

So running full-speed at a train can, therefore, always be considered a bad idea.

One thought on “Calm Down.

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